Dad Jokes 2024

[mazzgolf]

You should never tell someone you love them on January 1. It's only the first date!

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(And so the new Dad Joke Calendar for 2024 begins!)

[Otter]

Addiction is powerful, I know a guy addicted to brake fluid, he says he can stop at any time.

[mazzgolf]

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. I don't know why because now I can't read it.

[bucky]

I almost had a threesome last night...all I needed was two more people

[mazzgolf]

So what if I don't know what the word "apocalypse" means? It's not the end of the world.

[toxo]

Bought the wife some edible  panties to have some fun.Thank God I bought 5 pair because I ate 3 on the way home!

[tick trawler]

The county Agricultural board has decided to outlaw the big round bales of hay.

Their concern was that the cows were not getting a square meal.

 

[Otter]

[mazzgolf]

There once was a king who was 12 inches tall. He made a great ruler.

[mazzgolf]

My wife left me because of my gambling addiction. But I'm not worried, I know I can win her back.

===

What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing. He was gladiator.

==

I have to say, this new calendar is off to a pretty good start  

[kohunter]

Gladiator! Ha!

[Otter]

[tick trawler]

[Otter]

How can you tell if a tree is a Dogwood tree ?  by it's bark

[mazzgolf]

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Boy, was I a terrible tour guide.