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Let's Hear Some Funny Hunting Stories


archer36

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Since I don't have a nice Buck to post, I'll start a funny thread. 

A few days ago I was in my ground blind.  I usually watch Hunting Videos or read news once settling in for a half hour or so. 

So I am watching a hunting video and glancing out the blind on and off. The video had no visible deer in it so I stared outside the blind. 

I hear grunting. Oh, shit, there's a Buck out there. I look around and see  nothing. I hear grunting again. I look around. Nothing.

Well after a few minutes of this, I look at the video again an see the buck in the open grunting. I guess it was wishful thinking. 

I'll have to stick to Porn. I can tell the difference between moans and grunts. 

You have a funny story? Please post. 

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About ten years ago I was sitting in a tree just before light. My typical premorning hunt routine was to get in 45 minutes before light, strap myself in, and catch a couple z's before daybreak. After about 30 minutes of snoozing I am awakened by the sound of foot steps in the leaves. I still couldn't see anything so I just sat tight listening to it get closer. Soon it was 5 yards under me and I still couldn't make it out. All of a sudden I heard a blood curdling scream that made my jump up and climb three cedar branches before my strap tightened up and kept me from going higher. Whatever it was took off running and stopped about 100 yards away. Once it got light enough and I cleaned up my shorts I had my first ever NJ bobcat sighting. I have included a link so you know what they sound like.

 

 

Edited by KBfishing
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My nephews friend is just getting into hunting (he is 23 now)I let him hunt with us last year for his first hunt and he got a doe and that was it for his season so he asked if he can come back this year of course I said yes. 

Last week we went out and both were unsuccessful, I usually get down about 10 minutes after sunset as I feel when it gets to dark there is too much of a chance to hit a branch, twig or something.  I got down got home and the kids truck was still at my house, I put my bow away and started walking to the stand he was in to make sure he was O.K., when he sends me a text asking how late I stay in the stand and I respond that I was "done". I continue to the stand to make sure he gets down alright when I see his flashlight coming through the wood, so I back into some high grass next to a small tree crouch down and wait, when he came around the bend and was right next to me ( I checked to make sure there was not an arrow knocked, and there wasn't)  I jumped out at him and "Growled" with my hands up in the air, he jumped backwards and started yelling "OH SHI**, OH Shi**, OH SHI**" I was laughing so hard (I still get a chuckle when I tell someone) when the kid said you got me good and he knew I would do something like that he just didn't know where I would be.  Now I refer to him as the kid that is afraid of the dark and he responds he is not afraid of the dark just the monsters that are in the dark.

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I will never forget as a kid in the mid 80s i watched a local tv hunting show showing how to rattle in bucks. And this guy was going nuts raking brush and carrying on. So i build this ground blind start doing all the stuff he did. And i hear this big animal coming in the brush my heart is racing thinking this giant is coming. And out pops my neighbors golden retriever lol Needless to say that ended my future in rattling lol  

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my friend and I where going thru the woods in Walpack early morning in  the dark to our spots to hunt deer for the day. A rather large,silent light floated by us over our heads. My friend asked," what should we do!!!!!????" I said if they are aliens,and are smart enough to fly millions of light years to Earth, there is really nothing we can do! 

We still have no idea what the light in the sky  was! True story!

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In the mid-70s about seven or nine of us kids started having an annual deer hunt. We put in for a week's vacation a year ahead of time from work for the first week of bow season. Weed reserve two or three adjoining camping spots in swartswood Park. Oh the ranger loved us.lol.. one kid would bring about a 16 ft camping trailer. One night it was very dark out no moon. This black friend of ours goes out of the trailer to go take care of business. Another friend of ours sneaks out of the trailer and goes underneath the trailer and hides behind the steps leading into the trailer. When the black kid comes back it steps on the step and reaches up to open the door have friend underneath the trailer puts out this big deep roar like a bear. Our friend runs into the trailer but he didn't open the door he went right through the screen..:piney:..:rofl:

“In a civilized and cultivated country, wild animals only continue to exist at all when preserved by sportsmen.” -Theodore Roosevelt

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Northwoods Maine hunt , we had a greenhorn with us.  He was a good guy, looked like and acted like Grizzly Adam's,   by the way he talked about hunting you would assumed he would fit into the northwoods no problem, wrong.

Started with the 10 hour drive to camp, we had a convey of 5 trucks, we had  our game plan on what time leaving, where abouts to stop for lunch, gas etc.  Well we all meet up, "Joe" was 20 minutes late, then Joe needed gas, as we travel up 95 north, we can see in rear view mirror Joe is falling behind,  this is before cell phones, so we pull over. Wait till he catches up, he says he only dies 55 mph because he has no driver license since he lost it 15 years ago? Oh boy, where we go. So now the trip is taking us 12-13 hours to get to camp.

In camp he pulls out these monster fuzzy bigboot boots, probably weighing in at 10lbs, so the fun begins.  Tell Joe be careful wearing those boots,  the red squirrels up here are very territorial and might take those boots as a threat (anyone that ever hunted maine knows red squirrels are all over the place and will come within feet of you to investigate)

Joe wears these boots 1st day, comes back saying all he saw was these red squirrels and they so close to him he thought that they were going to attack. Advise him not to where them again (also had owener of camp in on it)  the owner of camp said he had a client attached by the pack of rabid red squirrels and it was a close call for the hunter. Every night we would stuff leaves in his boots, every morning Joe would say the red squirrels are nesting in boots and he is now a marked man.  Needless to say he never caught on.

Since Joe only hunted 100 yards from camp we would tell him about ordering the lunch specials from the camp owner , lobster rolls, homemade new England chowder, etc ( we where 120 miles from the nearest paved road, no lunches being served at camp) every night at dinner Joe would say the owner didn't like him, every time he would ask for the lunch specials the owner would chuckle and say ok, ill be right back, then leave. This went on all week along with other ball busting tricks, Joe never caught on.  Fun times

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My first season deer hunting , maybe 7 years ago , my buddy and I happened to be off on one afternoon during 6 day . So he had a nice open spot where the deer were cruising along a creek , a long open area where he sat with his slug gun and I sat in the thick stuff with a scatter gun just off the game trail . 
 

he had a brand new can of a buck bomb, never had used one . He tells me he’s going to put it in the best spot , and just let it empty it’s contents . He knew it was a cap that would lock to allow it empty , but thought it was more like a spray paint can rather than a top discharge nozzle . He sends me a text , says he’s going to set off the bomb and get into his spot . 
 

well I don’t think I can type the words on this site , but you could imagine what profanities were yelled through the woods that day as he emptied those contents in his eyes , nose , mouth , all over his clothes , boots , gun , backpack , chair ..... 

 

needless to say We didn’t see anything , and I made him walk out of the woods by himself . 

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Buddy of mine was from the city and wanted to get into (deer) bow hunting. Took him up to the Newark Watershed in Vernon. Warned him that there was a good population of bears in the area. He told me that he was so "In tune with Nature" he would not be bothered by a bear encounter. We were in climbing stands and about 200 feet apart. Right after daybreak, a medium sized bear shows up at the base of my tree and starts sniffing around. The bear wanders off into the direction of my buddy's stand. Thought to myself "This is going to be interesting!" About 45 seconds later the whole woods exploded with screaming "Get the F***k out of here! Get the F***K out of here! Get the F***K out of here!" I just started laughing climbed down the tree and went over to him because every deer within 5 miles heard us!  I go over to his stand- Somehow the medium sized bear had turned into a 500LB mother bear with three cubs! And they were all climbing up the tree to eat him!

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16 hours ago, trapoholic said:

Buddy of mine was from the city and wanted to get into (deer) bow hunting. Took him up to the Newark Watershed in Vernon. Warned him that there was a good population of bears in the area. He told me that he was so "In tune with Nature" he would not be bothered by a bear encounter. We were in climbing stands and about 200 feet apart. Right after daybreak, a medium sized bear shows up at the base of my tree and starts sniffing around. The bear wanders off into the direction of my buddy's stand. Thought to myself "This is going to be interesting!" About 45 seconds later the whole woods exploded with screaming "Get the F***k out of here! Get the F***K out of here! Get the F***K out of here!" I just started laughing climbed down the tree and went over to him because every deer within 5 miles heard us!  I go over to his stand- Somehow the medium sized bear had turned into a 500LB mother bear with three cubs! And they were all climbing up the tree to eat him!

Newark Watershed is a wild place! I had an encounter with a big Porcupine there. 

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As kids, we started out as rabbit hunters, with beagles. One of our spots consisted of meadows and woods separated by a local road and railroad tracks. After hunting one side of the road, we unloaded, crossed, and walked up the tracks a bit until the beagles started singing. We spread out in the woods along the railroad and waited. I could see the bunny coming. Raised the gun, pulled the trigger......click. Worked the action of the Sweet Sixteen again.....click. Rabbit literally stopped 10 feet in front of me, gave me the finger, and continued on his way. Then three beagles got in front of me, stopped, looked around. The look on their faces is something I'll never forget. I was twelve at the time.

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